Raking Part Tres

I’m on day three of raking the backyard.  Most of the Black Walnuts are in the compost pile, there are a few stray leaves left, and I am on my way to calling this exercise a true victory.  The last thing I have to do is mow the lawn, which should also be pure comedy, as I have never mown a lawn in my life.  Luckily Daddy-O showed me how to start the lawn mower before he left town and it was not difficult so this should be the easy part of lawn care.  I haul the mower out of the garage, push the prime button on the motor three times per the instructions, hold in the clutch, and give the starter cord (is that what it’s called?) a good rip.  Nothing.  I try pulling it again.  Still nothing.  A third time.  Nope.  Am I flooding the engine?  Wait, do I have to let it rest if the engine floods?  Or do I let the clutch out a little bit?  Maybe I’m not supposed to hold in the clutch while I try to start it.  [Let’s clutch out.]  Nope, that’s not right because now I can’t even pull the start cord.  I pull the clutch in again and give the cord a fourth rip.  Still nothing!  What am I doing wrong?  Also, the neighbors must be laughing at me AGAIN from the warm confines of their living room while they sip more of their pumpkin spice mochas and eat freshly baked zucchini bread.  Twenty minutes go by and I decide to give up on the mower.  I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.  I checked the oil, I checked the fuel level, I let the mower sit, I did a dance around it, I caressed it, I practically promised my first born to it but to no avail.  I finally put the darn thing back in the garage and decide to ask my cousin for help with this one as I don’t think my dad can do me much good over email.  

Something tells me I’m not pulling the starter cord fast or hard enough (...that’s what she said...hehe).  My dainty office worker arms are no competition for heavy-duty yard work.  But I refuse to be beaten out by a piece of common machinery. So tomorrow, I ride…or rather attempt to whisper sweet nothings into the lawn mower so it works.  That should do the trick, right?